ragin again.

On the one hand it doesn't help but, on the other it does. I think my rages are founded in a deep desire for justice and are triggered by perceived injustice.
There was a day that was toasted as an opportunity to contribute and exchange ideas with as basis what I shall the the legacies of colonisation (coloniality) and the 'afropean'.
 I thought I had made up the term but it appears to now be moving into academic circles. I have a very clear understanding of what I was trying to describe with the term. Academia of course is in the process of disclarify my understanding.
Born in a country, looking like an African (not to African's obviously) with no other knowledge than European culture.
A young Surinamese man who came to the Netherlands at a young age was offended because I termed him not an Afropean. For me he was clearly not born in Europe. I could see it in the way he walked, his speech patterns and his general 'feel'. The young woman sitting next to me was how I would define an Afropean. Born in Europe in this case of a white German mother and Nigerian father.
I used the term to describe my experience of moving to the Netherlands and other countries from Britain where I have always been seen and taken as British or English with no debate from a very young age. In France, Australia and New Zealand  I was also automatically taken as 'English'. There is the without doubt mainland European tendency to try to negate my European'ness' by asking where I was born - England. and when that doesn't give the required answer asking where my parents were born.
Recently the son of a friend asked me the same question and I was both surprised and heartened when at my gently asking him if he was ever asked the same question and what impact did he think constantly being asked that question might have  he said
"Oh, that's a racist question. I'm sorry. Thank you for showing me that."
In the Netherlands I experience so much self oppression in the ways that light skinned blacks refer to themselves and other people of colour. Particularly those 'blessed' with white mothers who consider themselves incapable of being racist because they've fucked black men.
One of my neighbours subjects her daughter to such malign oppression we couldn't remain friends.
'Normal' and accepted terms here in Amsterdam such as 'negerin' and 'half bloed' make my pulse race and my blood start to simmer. it is a term the mixed heritage people here call themselves. I say
"Where are you from?" they say
"Here, I'm a half bloed."
Why do I live in the Netherlands? Because it is the safest and most privileged place on the planet. When, if everything goes pear shaped and the world system as we know it starts collapsing or the poles melt and the water rises to drown  major cities. The Netherlands will still be floating and doing business with anyone who can manage it.
I live here so that my child, who is spoiled and can be obnoxious as all Dutch children and young people are allowed to be as well as  naive, lazy, spoiled, unaware or any of the fantasies that other places have of the possibilities of an ideal childhood. She is and can be instead of weary and world wise before she was out of her teens.